Two self-proclaimed graffiti “artistes” were arrested last night by the City’s militia when they were apprehended in the process of decorating the walls of Casa Mariposa with the slogans: “Birdies Go Home” and “Cierra Azota”. This last commentary referring, of course, to the traitor Azota Brakespeare, also called the Butcher Brakespeare, who was executed by our Huitzil friends with good cause some fifteen years ago. As they were hauled away, the graffitos were heard to cry out seditious comments on the role that Lord Axacaya played in the Butcher’s execution, and rude reflections on the Warlord’s otherwise undisputed manliness.
Back issues of The Warlord’s Wear Weekly and Kicky Kicks: An Alamanack of Shoes. Any year, any condition. Apply to U. Landaðon, General Delivery. Good Prices Paid. |
Five piece band seeks new lead singer. Must be tall, visible, and riotous. Stylistically charming, yet rough and tumble, flexible yet smooth. Waist length hair a plus. Skill with the tambourine, double plus. Apply to Califa’s Lip Rouge, PO Box 93. |
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Whose pet parrot was seen flitting around the window of the offspring of one of Califa’s most heroic citizens? Could a feathered folly be in progress?
What pair of sparkly red boots leapt into an ear nibbling session with one of South of the Slot’s most eligible bachelorettes, bestowing his aural affections upon her with the gift of a silver locket?
What group of renegade “patriots” have been liberally spraying the walls of Califa with seditious twaddle advocating the rehabilitation of the Republic’s most insidious traitor? Pink ribbands are the hallmark of this band, in reference to the favorite color of the long-departed butcher, and tho’ they think they act sub rosa, rest assured their activities are not as sub as they so believe!
What long celebrated kiddie park has been, after dark, reverting to a less childish playground, where humans and their opposites can linger and comport themselves with rather unsavory sportive tricks?
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By Little Me
Society Correspondent
for the
Califa Police Gazette
Little Me quivers with excitement as she scribbles these happy words: Finally, now upon us, the society event of the season: The Warlord’s Birthday Ball! Like a good cheese, the Warlord grows riper and more salty every day, and lucky we are to be lead by such a good fellow, and luckier still that he chooses to share his natal good fortune by celebrating so publicly.
“I’m happy to still be alive,” our robust lord said to Little Me when she asked him how he felt about this occasion. “And I know you think so to, so I’m happy to spread my wealth around, innit?”
Though the ball itself be limited to the crème-de-la-crème of Califa society, Conde Rezaca, the Warlord’s Chief of Staff, assures Little Me that this year’s public Beer and BBQ Blow-Out, open to every citizen of Califa, will be the Best Ever.
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